Having a healthy sex life is good for you both emotionally and physically. Research shows sex benefits immunity, heart health, and emotional wellness. The absence of sexual arousal may increase feelings of insecurity and a search for external validation. The need for attachment may also surge manipulation as a defense mechanism against loneliness and societal shame for being solo. Excessive attachment serves as a placeholder, but it does not fill the growing void for love. On the other hand, a sexually suppressed person will usually battle negative ideas about themselves and their want for connectivity. Is poor sex or the lack of sex impacting your mental health?
The work of early thought leaders (i.e., Freud 1856-1939) documented how sexual attitudes and behaviors were nexus for mental illness. Today in my practice, I see how persistent negative thoughts and feeling surrounding one’s desire for relating are linked to poor emotional management, anxiety, and depression. Being solo has managed to destroy the peace of mind of individuals because society mistakenly holds it to seem like nothing else matters until there are in a relationship.
I am not a matchmaker. I do not have a cheat code for finding you a romantic partner easily or quickly. I am a mental health professional who can normalize the erotic feelings which surface from having no or poor-quality sex outside of a partner. I can help you distinguish between a mental illness and a stage of life. I can offer tools to improve the quality of sex and your overall relationship health. I can help with identifying the triggers of sexual repression, and factors that encourage its continued effects. Psychological flexibility is, after all, essential for coping, I can help you get comfortable within this stage of your life yet I, can help you not stay here.
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